HEALER/SPIRITUALIST/COSMETIC DENTIST/FILMMAKER/COMEDY WRITER

Jeffrey Gurian on Lime Radio with Karen Salmansohn

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"I realized early on that it was an emotional problem, because when I was in a room all alone, I never stuttered. I could speak with absolute fluency. As soon as someone came into the room, I began to stutter. Obviously, as far as I'm concerned, it had something to do with how I felt about myself, in relation to other people. I also knew that all the speech classes I had been to as a younger child had only made me worse, and made me feel different than all the other kids.

When I ran for President of my Freshman class in college, I told myself that if I won, it would prove to me that I was popular, and that people liked me, and that I wouldn't need to stutter anymore. I won that election, and of course I continued to stutter, which also proved something very important to me. You can not receive outside validation, and expect it to change the way you feel about yourself. It's totally an inside job. I work with both self-esteem issues, and personal power issues to conquer stuttering.

To me, it doesn't matter much to figure out what caused a person to stutter. I think it's much more important for them to know that they can stop any time they're ready, even if they've been stuttering for many, many years. The power is within them.

Positive affirmations--like " The Power Is Within," "I Can Accomplish Anything I Put My Mind To," and "I Refuse To Let Any Obstacle Stand In My Way"--are only three of the 15 affirmations I use to reprogram the thinking of people who stutter.

"They fall into the self-esteem and personal power catalogue of affirmations, as opposed to the "stuttering" affirmations. The "stuttering" affirmations, range from "I No Longer Feel The Need To Stutter", to "Why Do I Need To Stutter, When Most People Don't?", to "Fight The Fear", and "I'll Be Okay Even If I Don't Stutter." These affirmations are used as part of an auto-hypnotic, or auto-suggestive technique that I find very powerful, and completely essential to the person who wishes to stop stuttering.

The affirmations are made on colored card stock, using the colors of the chakras, for added power. I utilize patterns and scenes that are relaxing to look at for the background, on which the words of the affirmations appear. The affirmations are meant to be placed everywhere you look throughout the day. The concept is to surround yourself with them, so that every thought you have is a positive one throughout your waking hours, and the more you take in this positive energy on a subliminal level, the more it will manifest itself on a conscious level.

I am also of the belief that when you want it badly enough, and I don't mean just 100%, I mean a million percent...you will definitely be able to stop stuttering. You have to absolutely hate stuttering--and I mean the word "hate"--with every fiber of your being. I don't mean that you should hate yourself if you stutter--that's a critically important point--just hate the stuttering. Those are two completely different things.

I think you have to be kind to yourself, and accept the fact that if you stutter, it's because for right now you still need to; at the point where you no longer need it, you'll allow yourself to stop. Until then, treat yourself with kindness and don't beat yourself up about it. One of the most powerful of the self-esteem affirmations says, "Would I Let Anyone Else Treat Me The Way I Treat Myself?" And the answer is probably "No." As stutterers, we tend to be very hard on ourselves.

Acceptance is for things we cannot change. It does not apply to an affliction like stuttering. Once you accept yourself as a stutterer, you will always be a stutterer. You have to absolutely refuse to continue stuttering, because if there's nothing physically wrong with your throat, and you can speak perfectly fluently when you're alone, or when you sing, then you have to realize that your speaking mechanism functions just fine, and when you stutter, you're fulfilling some inner need you have, by repeating a sound more than once...which is a very strange thing to do.

I use my comedy background to teach my students to look at stuttering in a funny sort of way. As bizarre as it may sound, I really want them to look at it as a very strange thing for them to do. If they have to have a stress related habit, why not pick something else? Stuttering is too stressful in itself. I'm not being facetious. Choose a habit that's not so draining, and give up stuttering. You've done it for long enough. On the checklist of habits, next to stuttering, you can check it off. You've done it. Go on to another habit.

"The problem is," he says, "that most stutterers, if they had to fill out a form describing themselves, would put down that they were stutterers. It's part of their identity. They almost don't know who they'd be, if they didn't stutter anymore."

"I remember very clearly when I was almost ready to stop stuttering for good, how nervous I was for that very reason. Who would I be if I didn't stutter?" And you know what? I tried not stuttering, and it was just fine. No one insisted I continue stuttering, and no one said, "You know, I really miss the way you used to stutter," and there was no social event I couldn't attend because I didn't stutter anymore. No one held up a sign that said, "For Stutterers Only"--people still liked me, even if I didn't stutter. It didn't seem to be required anywhere in my life, so I finally decided to just give it up. And I've never been sorry. Fluency is freedom--which is another one of my positive affirmations for stopping stuttering.